Magrit Minna Martha Hedwig LeLacheur (Mueller)

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It is very easy to forget who Mom was when the experience of the last few years is all you have in mind. Mom did not accept Alzheimer's graciously. She prided herself on her quick mind and native intelligence, and seeing her robbed of that, and her struggle with that loss over the years was difficult. It is better to see what the disease could not take from her instead: her poise, her sophistication, and her graciousness.

Mom grew up in Germany during the Second World War. She never talked much about that time, but has pulled out little gems upon occasion. On PEI, some of the church women offered to teach her how to knit, and were surprised that a city girl already knew how to turn a heel.

She also did not talk much about her time after the war. She worked as an au-pare in France and England while learning the languages, and she was poor much of this time. But she really enjoyed this time of her life – an attractive young lady living in some of the most interesting cities in Europe, she had ample opportunity to see the sights and take in the night life.

It was at a party that Mom met Dad. Originally, Mom did not want to go, but her best friend Edelgard dragged her into it. Neither of them expected to fall in love, but you can trust that Mom made the best of it. She agreed to marry Dad if he gave her a Mercedes. Dad found for her a little toy Mercedes. They married, and Mom and Dad traveled through the Middle East and Africa on UN missions for the Canadian Armed Forces. Somehow they managed to produce three children during this time – each of us born on a different posting. Edelgard – named for the best friend who introduced Mom and Dad – was born in Ottawa in 1966, myself in Ghana in 1967, and Peter in Montreal in 1968.

Dad's last posting was in Ottawa, where they had the opportunity to settle down. Mom loved the role of home maker and care giver to her family. When we were young, Mom insisted that we return to Germany for Christmas every year, and some of our earliest memories are of traveling in Europe visiting Mom's friends in England, France or Germany. When we were older, we spent our summers on PEI with Dad's family. Mom for reasons only understood by her insisted on packing as much as she could into her car and trailer. It is impossible to forget our summer trips to the Island, with Mom and Dad and three kids packed into her Mercedes, towing an over stuffed trailer that looked one size to big for the car. We had fun though. There was always something new, and if it was in a tourism book, Mom would normally find an excuse to take us there. Mom always wanted us kids to have the opportunities that she did not have.

One of the opportunities that she missed was learning to play tennis. She was an accomplished table tennis champion, but had never played on a court. One winter in Ottawa, while skating on the canal, she fell and broke her wrist. As it was healing, a car accident broke her other wrist. When they healed, the doctors told her that she would never get her full strength or range of motion back. She took it as a personal challenge, and took up tennis as therapy for her broken wrists. She became a very accomplished and competitive tennis player, and only stopped playing in the last few years.

Mom enjoyed so many things in life: Tennis, Bridge, Travel. When we stopped going to Germany as a family, she continued to make her annual pilgrimage back to her home country to visit friends and family. She always tried to be cheerful and positive. In one of my last memories of her, as we sat together in the nursing home, she told me that there was too much room her, and I should really move in with my family.

I'm going to miss my Mom. Not just because I've lost a mother, but because I've lost a friend.